Discernment is perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual direction and understanding. It is the ability to choose from right or wrong, and to judge between truth or error. Of course, here too, we bring in our tainted perceptions and perspectives, but the act of looking at all options and making decisions, with awareness and acute decision making, is already a step above judgement
Anyone — including homosexuals — can participate in belittling, shaming, and attempting to exert control over another via language or otherwise. I observed a lot of this in the community, especially among those men who stand guarded behind the cover of virtual anonymity and suffer from various levels of discomfort about their own homosexuality.