When I left this place about three years ago, it felt like I was not only divorcing my former partner but also the city. At least with my partner the signing of the divorce papers gave some sort of closure. But, even then, let’s be real, no signature gives closure to emotions and years of love and cohabitation.
However, this past week, I came to the realization that I have stopped writing. I realized that negative thoughts have been coming up more during last 3 months, as doubt and uncertainty plague my mind. Important life decisions, choices, rejections and LIFE have numbed me from functioning at my best.
When my mind is restless and uneasy it tends to dwell on that which is negative and only causes more negativity to brew. I bring it to a point, perhaps of self-destruction and depression. But, luckily, this time, I realize that I’ve done this before and I do not wish to dig deeper into that hole.
Anyone — including homosexuals — can participate in belittling, shaming, and attempting to exert control over another via language or otherwise. I observed a lot of this in the community, especially among those men who stand guarded behind the cover of virtual anonymity and suffer from various levels of discomfort about their own homosexuality.
Most yoga studios which function in the U.S. are considered “for-profit” businesses. It is however refreshing to see that certain studios make yearly efforts to give back and raise awareness of issues that are vital for a safer, inclusive and diverse communities around this country.
Now, it is a bit embarrassing to admit this publicly, but my last real date was probably about a year ago.
As a gay man, I am proud. The shame that I carried for many years for being an Armenian gay man has diminished during the past decade as I decided to fully embrace this label and my culturally unaccepted identity. Even years later, during times of great pride, there have been moments where I have caught myself regressing. Then, I quickly… Continue reading Being Gay & Armenian: Shame to Pride