I am so tired of having to think about what to post on Instagram
I am uninspired
I know there is so much ego involved, but I have to do it
I am inspired
I know my followers expect me to post at least two pics a day
I am uninspired
I wish I didn’t have to do this
I am inspired
Let us be real, we are in the age of digital marketing and an online presence is a vital component for our businesses. However, the past few months, I was plagued by the total resentment, indignation and dissatisfaction with the world of Instagram yoga. Before I move forward, let me take a moment and admit that I am a contributor to this culture. I was completely tired and uninspired to share, because I noticed the level of emptiness associated with posting yoga asana photos. The sexualization and the sexualized nature of marketing to attract students into classes brought me to multiple tiers of questioning how the practice has evolved and whether or not I wanted to be a part of it all. For months, this became my focus of meditation and thinking. Throughout this process, I carefully made sure there was no judgement placed on anyone as I accepted this as the nature of our current reality. Most importantly, I had to refrain from self judgement. However, I allowed myself to be discerning and critical. I assessed my own involvement in this culture. Months later, my thinking brought me right back to why I began this Instagram yoga journey myself.
Using Instagram and my blog was an outlet of creative expression. It was a time of discovering a new passion and letting go of a career I had spend years building up to. Finally being able to tap into my creative side, which I did not even know existed, writing became that outlet. Then, it slowly was amateur photography. I used these two to tell my story, which was a process at times driven by ego, but most often, when authentic and pure a need to express. In my mind, I had no intention of being an “inspirational figure” or an “influencer” or a “brand ambassador.” To me, it was purely a creative expression. Throughout the years, the creative “umph” faded, but thankfully my yoga practice, that true expression through asana, breath and meditation remained. With a more mindful approach to social media content creation and sharing, knowing that this part is vital to bring students into my classes, which ultimately results in bringing food to my table, I decided to just ask myself whether or not my ego is involved? What is my intention with each post? Why do I need to share this? Who cares? What is the driving force behind this post? These are just some questions I try to keep in mind.
The past four weeks, I have been more cognizant. With this, I have found the same level of joy I had when I first began. Even if I’m not using a photo taken at the moment, I try to relate the captions to my current mental and emotional states of mind. Even if the photo is “sexualized” or considered to be as such, I ask myself if this is the art I want to put out there. There is less judgement this way, because I am putting out there what I am truly feeling and thinking critically about. I am putting out there what is authentic and true to me. The moment I doubt it for even a second, I pull back and sit with it.
That said, the past two weeks I have been dealing with an upswing of my emotional self. It’s been great. I have used Instagram as a portal to express the beauty and colors of Spring in Los Angeles by juxtaposing the beautiful and bright colored spring flowers in Black and White. The photos of asanas, not always perfect and aligned, as I like them to be, express the interactions with people and experiences that I am going through. Without revealing too much, I invite you to check out my Instagram page and perhaps read the captions that accompany them. The last 9 black and white photos was my personal renaissance, a rebirth that took months of ruminating and reflecting.
To see all nine photos, click here.