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The Year of the Cock: A Satirical Piece on Love, Mercury Retrograde, the Wolf Moon and an Armenian coffee cup reading

I’ve been very uninspired to write and that’s the honest truth. Ideas keep coming and going, but I’ve been unattached to the idea of having to express them to the world. I’ve been quite content about being a bit more internal, we can say. I guess what I’m experiencing is “blogger’s block” as we enter the year of the cock. Yup, that’s exactly what’s happening.

A part of me wants to blame the the Cosmo-astrological fiascos (both Greco-Roman  and Chinese interpretations) of the past few months. It must be because we just got out of this horrific mercury retrograde, just recently experienced the full moon of January, also known as the Wolf Moon, the Hunger Moon and the Cold Moon. Ok, so which one is it guys? And who’s determined these labels? Who has determined and based on whose calendar that the moon we had on January 12th was considered the “first moon of the year?”  Perhaps, the year of the cock is incompatible with the “fact” that year of the pig under a Gemini moon and a Scorpio sun, is just a hot messy astrological recipe for disaster. Who knows?

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This has been a topic of conversation amongst my friends the past few weeks, clearly. Inspirational Art by: Harry Garlanian 

If we have not met, I am the yoga teacher who asked my teacher training cohort “if we can all just study the colors of the chakras and their meanings independently at home?” Wanting to get to anatomy and alignment, and learn about the benefits of the asanas, I had very little interest in anything but. Luckily I did not get my way. Yes, I’m that guy! And, all this talk of being given specific and detailed times to set intentions or put out one’s precious stones to be cleansed, then recharged by the energy of the full moon dust is something I’m a bit torn about. We love to label, categorize, look and find meaning in what is external. We often find that the path of self-inquiry, especially through sitting quietly and meditating, is a painful and revealing one. Before I’m discredited as a yoga instructor,  I’d like to mention that I do appreciate and believe in the power of the moon. Surely, it has an effect on physical and mental bodies.  Moreover, chakras as human energy systems, are something I am very interested in learning more about and I do bring attention to them during some of my classes.  But, my main issue here is externalizing our problems and misfortunes. It makes us become more future oriented, because there is always somehow something external, which is preventing us from reaching our truth, which then gives us the excuse to wait until it’s over, because everything will be “all-right” in due time. Yes, it will. This is the concept of transience and impermanence, two important things I learned during my 30-day meditation retreat in Nepal. In the practice of meditation, we bring our focus to the present moment and really tap into our mind and body, and put ourselves on the path to self-study. This practice also lends itself to leading a more compassionate life towards oneself and others. Finally, it brings very high levels of appreciation and gratitude for the present, which in turn reduces the longings and depressions of the past and anxieties about the future.

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What do I do with these now?

All this said, when my friend sent me an article written by Elite Daily on how to greet the full moon, I decided to follow their advice. I drew a bath and I reflected on where I wanted to be this year. I was also very specific with my intentions and wrote 5 of them down and sealed it in an envelope. I laughed at myself a little for doing this. But, I also knew if I directed my energy to certain areas of my life which need improving, I’d likely work to get them. I see the power in that. I also looked at the moon and told it how powerful it was.

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Yup, it even started with love. Or a symbol for it. Sorry, I didn’t think of snapping the phallic symbols that were displayed during the reading. #bloggerfail

But, it wasn’t until a large group dinner when my friend started to read my fortune through the sediments left on the bottom of my “Armenian coffee cup” when I was finally convinced that there must be something to all of this madness. Her cup reading was the maraschino cherry on top of my cake. We, of course, get silly and do these cup readings just to giggle. But, on the first full moon of the year, 12 January of 2017 at 22º under the fixed Star of Pollux in the Twins of Gemini (my sign) she and everyone on the table saw about 5 phallic symbols and a sixth one that was quite clear and volcanic, spewing something in a northern direction. You can use your imagination on that one, because we all forgot to take a photo of it.  In any case, the 5 phallic symbols, all quite dark were stacked like mountains next to each other.  According to her they represented the 5 tumultuous relationships that I need to go through in 2017 to finally find my true love (represented by a clear image of the male organ, which was standing there in all of it’s glory, separate from the rest).

Right before dinner in that bathtub, I had already decided that I am over it being the year of the cocks and that I’d sit under the moonshine,  talk to it and tell it that this is the year of THE cock, damn it. Had I now manifested? Was it all unfolding? While taking my epsom salt bath I formulated 5 intentions, now tightly sealed and stamped in an envelope. One of them was to be open to love this year.  This, I decided, would be the year of love. Because, this, ladies and gentlemen is how we roll. We set our mind to something, make it top priority and go for it. And, if it fails to manifest this year, well I’m sure I’ll have a few mercury retrogrades to blame, 11 other full moons to bitch about and if that isn’t enough, once December rolls around, I’ll blame the whole damn year. But, alas, it’s the year of the cock and it is my year.

Sunsigns.org predicts that “The Chinese New Year 2017 horoscope foretells that the Pigs will have a mixed year. Career and business for the boars might be a bit slow but your previous investments will start paying off. Go easy on relationships and do not be in a hurry to get committed.”

Or is it?

 

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